Sunday, April 25, 2010
Words with an impact.
I don't know what to say now.
You know everything.
Which is a good thing.
There's one less person to hide from.Anger -> Disappointment -> Acceptance -> Glad.That's the emotional roller coaster you went through.I'm glad that Keller told you the truth.
'Cos I won't know how to tell you about all these.
Honestly, you're the best friend I've ever met.
:)
---
It's difficult to to tell people.
You know, It's not like you're happy and you go around telling people "I'm happy".
It's like, "I'm ___"
How difficult is that?
It's really difficult.
The words don't come out of my mouth so easily.
It's really not as easy as it seemed.
:/
Some people thought that acceptance was the way to go.
Yes.
To a certain extent.
There are so many things to deliberate and ponder about.
It's not something which you can just *snap* your fingers and go ahead and do it.
It's more difficult than dying.
'Cos you know, when you die, there's only 2 routes to take.
That's the decision you've got to make.
For me.
There are so many different routes I can take.
And the consequences.
It's not easy.
You're not me.
You won't know the emotional ups-and-downs I have.Sometimes when I tell people, they are either shocked, surprised, indifferent or angry.
The fourth one was what I was trying to avoid.
These are the conservative people.
I don't know what route I could have taken.But since I took this route now,
I supposed it's best to come clean.
I think there will be people who shun away from me.I think there will be people who will start to ostracize me.I think there will be people who will use this as a leverage.I think....
You see now?
So many "I think"s
Some people just tell me: " Shawn, just go find a ____"It's not as simple as it is.Now I'm so sensitive to words like these.Television, radio, everywhere I go, I see 'emulators' of the word.It's so perplexing.Some will say: " Oh Cool!"It's kinda interesting when I get such responses.Some, but a little rare, will say: " It doesn't change the fact that you're still my friend".This sentence really throws me into cloud nine.Some will say: "OMG. I need some time to think about it":X---
I've grew up in a non-___ environment.I don't know how I was thrown off track.I know that I relate to ____s better.Probably because my mind works the same as theirs.(But I don't hold grudges)---
1. I will not engage in ___ ___ until I grow up. No frivolous ones.2. I _____ ___ ____.3. I want a _________ desperately.Lol.
This is so weird now.
Don't guess (For those who know, it'll comes naturally to your mind)
---
So.
What should my next step be?
Tell the whole world?
---
If you need help for CSE:
http://docs.google.com/Doc?docid=0AVWgkbkJ7AelZGdtcmt0bWRfMTZkcnpqenBoZg&hl=en
If you see areas of improvement, or areas which are inaccurate, please tell me!
(It's meant to be a guide and most information are duly credited.)
Erm, found out many mistakes. :/
Sorry.
Smile and be happy!
'Cos life's too short to be sad.
Adios!
Shawn.
♥ angel&devil.
4/25/2010 09:40:00 AM
