Thursday, April 29, 2010

Some things just don't look as superficial as they seem.

I made a mistake that day.
I owned up.
But was it a mistake to own up?
The erosion of my integrity,
or the erosion of the impression I make?

I'm in a dilemma.
I'm very confused.

Who are the real friends?
And who aren't?

Smile and be happy
'Cos life's too short to be sad.
But why is this short life so unpredictable?
It's full of adversities.
And obstacles.
I'm really lost now.

If you mean any malice,
Fuck off away from my life.

Shawn
.___~

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

HYPO[CRITES].
HYPO =
People hate being called fat right?
So HYPO rhymes with hippo, which means that they are big and fat.
(and maybe ugly -.-, but some hippos may be cute. :/). -> This is the offensive part. Lol.
CRITE =
As in CRITTERS.
Not the one that means "a person" only, but also this group of carnivorous alien creatures from the movie.
Well, they can render the person unconscious or to sleep.
We have been unconscious when we knew them.
(We don't think when we're unconscious!) :?
(IMPORTANT: BTW, I'm not talking about _________. (:
Serious. *SEE BELOW*
I'm talking about someone else. :/
I am very disappointed with her.)
(Don't insinuate/guess who she is!)

Monday, April 26, 2010

Decided to re-post a new post.
I am a cry baby.
:C
GAH.
I cried/teared thrice this term.
:/
1. Lost Friendship
一去不复返 -〉我不肯相信。
你走你的阳关道 我走我的独木桥 -〉真的吗？
这样很残酷。
可是已成为事实。
我接受了。
Why is it in Chinese?
'Cos I <3 Chinese.
Lol.
(:

2. :/ I don't really want to say much about this.
But the person was really apologetic about it.
(I took 6 weeks k?
I really tried my bestest best.)

3. Contact Lenses!
GARH.
*Pulls Hair*
I still can't get my contact lenses!
Even though I tormented myself for like 35 minutes.
Trying to get the contact lens in my eye.
=(

Sunday, April 25, 2010

I think I've sleeping problems now.
Talked to Sally on the phone just now.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
She accepted it!
Miraculously.
(:
Cool (:
We are good friends,
(I think (: since she understand me so well)
So she probably would have accepted it (:
But I thought she wouldn't have.
I mean, given .. :X
I mean, she can be quite [petty] at times.
:)
HAHA.
Just Joking.
And just now, was epic.
My mum thought our television was spoiled.
Then I found out she didn't switch on using the side button.
=.=|
Gosh.







Words with an impact.
I don't know what to say now.
You know everything.
Which is a good thing.
There's one less person to hide from.
Anger -> Disappointment -> Acceptance -> Glad.
That's the emotional roller coaster you went through.
I'm glad that Keller told you the truth.
'Cos I won't know how to tell you about all these.
Honestly, you're the best friend I've ever met.
:)
It's difficult to to tell people.
You know, It's not like you're happy and you go around telling people "I'm happy".
It's like, "I'm ___"
How difficult is that?
It's really difficult.
The words don't come out of my mouth so easily.
It's really not as easy as it seemed.
:/
Some people thought that acceptance was the way to go.
Yes.
To a certain extent.
There are so many things to deliberate and ponder about.
It's not something which you can just *snap* your fingers and go ahead and do it.
It's more difficult than dying.
'Cos you know, when you die, there's only 2 routes to take.
That's the decision you've got to make.
For me.
There are so many different routes I can take.
And the consequences.
It's not easy.
You're not me.
You won't know the emotional ups-and-downs I have.
Sometimes when I tell people, they are either shocked, surprised, indifferent or angry.
The fourth one was what I was trying to avoid.
These are the conservative people.
I don't know what route I could have taken.
But since I took this route now,
I supposed it's best to come clean.
I think there will be people who shun away from me.
I think there will be people who will start to ostracize me.
I think there will be people who will use this as a leverage.
I think....
You see now?
So many "I think"s
Some people just tell me: " Shawn, just go find a ____"
It's not as simple as it is.
Now I'm so sensitive to words like these.
Television, radio, everywhere I go, I see 'emulators' of the word.
It's so perplexing.
Some will say: " Oh Cool!"
It's kinda interesting when I get such responses.
Some, but a little rare, will say: " It doesn't change the fact that you're still my friend".
This sentence really throws me into cloud nine.
Some will say: "OMG. I need some time to think about it"
:X

Saturday, April 24, 2010

What does a sunflower stand for?
Warmth and Happiness.
(:

It's probably the best flower to give someone.
After a rose.
(And must be given by the right person (:)

A sunflower a day keeps the sadness away (too!)
(:
It's a nice gesture to someone who is your friend. =)

Friday, April 23, 2010

It's said in the mystery schools that everyone who gets beyond basic survival will find their own avenue for growth, Gemini. Due to the retrograde and today's planetary configurations, you may be thinking about something you were interested in doing in the past, but set aside. If this happens to you, pick it up again, and pursue it with enthusiasm. The benefits will be very deep and improve all aspects of your life. You do not have to start immediately, but one day soon you will, and you'll be happy for doing so.

As quoted from the horoscope thingy on facebook. You know something?
I believe in horoscopes.
(:
Really do.
They can be quite true you know.
But today's one is intriguing.
Hmm.
Shall choose not to listen to this one for the time being.
Will the benefits really be deep?
Or will I fall into this deep abyss even more?
To the extent that I can't pull myself out?
I'm almost reaching the top already.
It doesn't make sense to just give up like that.
Right?
Argh.
In a complete dilemma now.
I just want to be really happy.

You are feeling a strong energy when it comes to love today, Gemini. Friendships and primary love relationships are going to take priority right now, and you will be feeling particularly warm and affectionate to those around you. It will not be enough for you to simply feel loving towards others right now, but you will want to express this physically as well. You may be presented with an opportunity for a new romance or friendship during this period, which will bode well for you in your romantic goals, so long as you are not already attached. Remember that every action has a consequence, so be careful of what decisions you make today, as under the wrong circumstances, this loving energy could be the last thing you need.

Woah.
I feel so confused now.
Tomorrow got fencing.
Shall sleep now.
And shan't think of such complex stuff anymore.
(:
Life's so complicated.

Smile and be happy!
'Cos life's too short to be sad.

Adios!
Shawn.

TAG!!
(:
You must be joking with me.
156.
Saw _________.
On board the bus.
Friday is the only day I can leave early.
Then this happened.
Nothing happened.
Hmm.
Remembered what Ms Kumar said.
Friendship torn apart = Awkwardness and Silence.
It's weird.
In every sense of the word.
But, oh well.
I'm a survivor.
Only 15% left to get over.
Woah.
Thinking about this, the thing is already 35 days already.
1 month, and 15% left.
A little slow lah~
):
But it's because every friendship is like a 8 carat diamond to me.
It'll take some time to get over the loss.
Right?
(:
Hopefully I get into Ares faculty committee.
:)
Although a little unlikely la.
I've not gotten past any interview.
At all.
So...
*Fingers crossed*
And hopefully I get into the Integrated Humanities Trip.
:)
Need something to tell me that: It's not worth it.
Need something to get rid of the WHOLE FEELING.
I still have friends which I treasure :)
Which is something I really value.
Friends who are by my side.
Argh, fell asleep on the bus.
At Bishan now.
So worth-it-to-remember.
:D
Suddenly remember what Mr Goh said to me.

" Don't wallow in your own pity"

How I truly agree with this question.
Anyway, enough of my weird interjections
Today have to rush all my work out.
Got so much work, but so little time.
Need to study for all my tests.
But will go to the library.
Ms Kumar (again! :)) taught me the skill of "timing-out".
Sometimes, I'll just enjoy spaghetti in Sengkang library.
And read a book.
Good for relieving stress.
:)
Gosh. As bad as this gets, I'm starting to rediscover myself.
So,
Thank You _________.
You really need a comparison to your friends before you appreciate then.
:)
The option's open though.
There's still a chance to reconcile I hope.
This time with the truth and sincerity.




(:
Anw, was at Mr Gan's dialogue session.
Interesting,
and boring at the same time ('cos I inevitably, slept.)
Someone asked about minimum wage.
And I was like: " You asking a minister to give you answer for Economics tutorial Question ar!"
Later the teacher mark him wrong.
(:
Anyway, inspiring.
With Mr Hon sitting in front of us.
Saw Nobel.
Such a looonnnnggg time since he chatted with me already.
(:
Will talk to him one day.
SOON.
:D

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Today, Siman msned me.
And told me to look at Hamin's PM.


Woah.
^^.









So touched. ^^
But I don't keep grudges la.
Not like _________.
I forgive people easily.
And don't make excuses to break a friendship.
:D

"Change is the challenge to the one who likes things to remain"

Woah.
This was like from the Musical from 2008.
Still remember it ^^.

"And it's a sad picture, the final blow hits you
Somebody else gets what you wanted again
You know it's all the same, another time and place
Repeating history and you?re getting sick of it"

Taylor Swift "Change"

Anyway, change's difficult.
You can't deny this.
It's a fact.
But change's often good.
It signifies progress.
I am progressing with time.
It seemed a long time ago since I was emoing about some things.
10 years down the road, and I will be thinking: Why was I so stupid?

Well, it's the historical baggage behind all these things.
Pri 1: Normal school life - MY FIRST TIME AS MONITOR (:
Pri 2: Normal school life - Playing catching and the freeze and melt games at the grandstand, fried ice cream, playing with my eevee toy at the back of the classroom and getting caught, Container classrooms, What's-that-called-oh-it's-ACES dance
Pri 3: Normal school life - MY FIRST TIME AS PREFECT (:
Pri 4: Normal school life - Remember the 'jail' at the side of the classroom and the wonderful graden-styled classroom decorations
Pri 5 and 6: Medicated oil incident.
Sec 1 and 2: Fainting incident, and many more incidents that cause a class to ostracise me.
Sec 3: Normal school life again. Thank goodness.
Sec 4: Ripping-of-history-textbook incident, tic-tac incident.

SEE?
I value friendship a lot, especially what I've gone through in sec 1 and 2.
So I'm super upset.
But it's okay now. ^^
Not angry, but disappointed.
(Like the Hamin incident today XD)
I'm not angry, not mad, not infuriated, not furious, just disappointed.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

The best way to recuperate from extreme depression, sadness and emo-ness?
To accept who I am.
Some people asked: Why tell people?
My answer in the past?
*Silence befalls*
My answer now?
It's part of accepting myself for who I am.
If I don't accept me,
Why would I expect people to accept me for who I am, Right?
I do mind people saying this behind my back.
Unwary ears could have heard it.
Walls have ears.
I don't mind.
However, I'd rather tell them face-to-face.
I don't publicize it.
Not on this blog, that is.
Like what Ms Kumar said to me.
Took some people quite long to get accustomed to it.
I must say my class was receptive to it.
I'm not a SBW because of this.
I don't betray myself.

Honestly, I know that it's just not the norm!
But it's me.
I'm okay now, if that's what people want to know.
Over.
Over.
_________.
Totally.
Fine, who am I lying?
maybe 20%.
But who cares now.
I need to busy myself with stuff everyday.
Make sure that I do not revert back to my own ways.
It won't happen, I hope.
I'm determined to find that thing which I yearn.
But,
cookies and cream ice cream will suffice.
This is the third part of CHANGE.
A few more parts, and I'll be a new and revived man.
I must prove I'm not a loser.
Like _________.
As similar as it is, differences are plenty.
When I was talking to Ms Kumar about this,
She totally enlightened me.
It's not worth it.
It's not worth my time.
No more a burden of my life.
Washed out of my system.
This will still take a little longer, but I'm on my way.
---
End of my tasteless conjecture.
---

Today, (or rather yesterday, since it's tomorrow already)
In the morning.
We, or rather I, saw a frightening scene.
A teacher fainted.
Gosh.
People were crowding around.
Students were looking on.
Paramedics and students administering proper SOP.
This scene is so..
weirdly familiar.
Reminded me of me fainting in front of 100 people.
So malu.
The experience's weird.
First, you'll see white and black stuff floating in front of your eyes.
Then, you'll be swaying front and back.
Then you'll just fall.
A split second of consciousness before you hit the ground.
Then, your hand will move up - a knee-jerk reaction.
So the scene was eerie.
Anyway, after the big hoo-hah,
lessons resumed.
Nothing really interesting happened though.
Although PE was great.
I can run without stopping! :O
Amazing to me and only me.
:)
Ms Claire didn't come today though.
3 hours break! :)
Which was boring.
Went for fencing.
<3>
:)
Hope I can do better.
Yuan Zi's last day.
:(
Anyway, reached home, finished work and slept.
Thanks to Xiao You, Min Hui, Brian and Hamin for the awesome history project done! (:

---
More work stops me from going to places I am trying not to go to.
And stopping me from doing things I am trying not to do.
Which is a good thing.
(:
I'm ending here
*WITH A BIG SMILE*
:D

Smile and be happy!
'Cos life's too short to be sad.

Adios!
Shawn

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

TODAY'S HISTORY TEST
HORRENDOUS BEYOND WORDS.
I THINK I WON'T DO WELL. ):
Horrendous probably is an understatement of the word.
IT WAS SO BAD I THINK FUNCTIONS TEST WAS BETTER.
ARGH.

ANYWAY, CONGRATS TO
GUO XIN FOR BEING FAC HUNK.
BRIAN FOR BEING FIRST IN 100M (heats).
LESTER FOR BEING THIRD IN 100M (heats).
HAMIN FOR SHOOTING A HOME RUN.
XIAOYOU FOR GETTING INTO REACH CAMBRIDGE.
CHINWEN FOR FINISHING ATLANTIS.
AND THE REST OF THE CLASS FOR SURVIVING HISTORY TEST. (WE'RE ALL SURVIVORS!)
(:

Today was a nice day?
'Cos I stopped thinking about _________.>.<
And bought the japanese thingies.
Haha.
Which were quite nice~ (:
And that cheered me up (:
And that GP was really funny?
Mrs Pow was super sarcastic.
Reminds me of Ms Fernandez.
Sense of familiarity.
Different styles, same effect.
(:
Damn funny! (;
Rushed to Catholic High with Hamin and Leon (Just so happen it's on the way)
And went for peer tutoring.
Ended early today.
So tired, I just laid my head on the table and slept.
Which was heavenly.
:D
Then we ended early.
NEED TO BE MORE PRODUCTIVE!!
D:

THEN THIS CAME UP.
GOSH.
Need to study for CSE test.
And do economics.
So I shall Ciao for now!

Smile and be happy.
'Cos it's going to be a great new day!

Adios!
Shawn.

Monday, April 19, 2010

The cold war was a indirect and unconventional conflict between the US and the USSR, for both wanted to achieve military, economic, political, ideological and geographical (or geo-political) supremacy and with the ultimate goal of spreading their ideals globally.

Sunday, April 18, 2010

Shan't upload all the photos for Good Friday.
Shall select some and post! (:

And Huang Cheng Photos.

Smile and be happy!
'Cos life's too short to be sad.

Adios!
Shawn.

























































This morning, woke up.
Gosh.
The level 8 soup is damn....
hot.
But better now.
To the least not like immediately after drinking it.
(:
Went breakfasting with mother and sister.
(:
To the least we're talking.
And not shouting.
So anyway, we went out,
and FINALLY
I GOT MY CONTACT LENSES (:
Just as I'm rejoicing,
I can't get it.
):
Too small for my big eyes.
GAH~
Anyway, finally got my first experience with contact lenses in my eyes.
Which is damn weird.
Haha.
But nevermind, I savoured the moment.
Haha.
(:
IsCream from Compass Point.
Which looks like black sesame ice cream.
But it's great! (:
Nice and smooth and rich.
With quite a generous serving of cookies (:
And it's only 2 bucks!
Awesome right?
The whole feeling was great~ (:

Junhoe shared with me something interesting:







(:

Should study for history test now.
Don't want to do as badly as the other tests I set for on Friday.

Smile and be happy! (:
'Cos life's too short to be sad!

Adios!
Shawn.













First, we went to school and Jiayin overslept =.=
Gave us heart attack lor.
We waited for quite long.
Pics in LT4:









































Thank god she came in the end on time.
Thing starts, and we stopped.
Some IQ thingy which is totally shit.
WE HAD TO THROW BASKETBALLS INTO THE HOOP TO GET CLUES.
IT'S AGAINST MY PRINCIPALS TO HOLD A BASKETBALL.
GAH~
But I still did it anyway.
With 5 throws I manage to throw in one.
Haha.


THEN WE WENT AND SCALE 40 STAIRCASES.
THAT EQUATES TO 80 FLIGHT OF STAIRS.
WHICH EQUATES TO 800 STEPS!
GOSH!
Then also cannot cheat, because we need to collect some slips of papers.
As we waited, played sudoku.
It's damn hard can!
Argh.
1 hour passed and we still haven't finish.
Then Derrick finished in 5 minutes.=.=









Then we needed to show Jiayin and Chinwen the message.
"The Grand Canyon is Gorgeous"
With some kind of thingy and red plates.
In the end,
it became "Two procrastinators"
WTH.
Hahahahahahaha
>.<


Derrick says:
:(
sian history
Shawn says:
ya lor
so tired now
then the level 8 soup ar
just now damn...
(...)
Derrick says:
hahah crazy
sigh
SHOULD I STUDY
Shawn says:
yya~
Derrick says:
can I just copy yours
Shawn says:
lol. you not scared of failing ar
Derrick says:
scared
thats why need copy yours
Shawn says:
lol. that's why you shouldn;t copy
Derrick says:
lol
sian
SIAN
Shawn says:
haiz. i want to study leh but no mood
Derrick says:
DUH
i also want study
LETS GO SCH MUG!!!!
at home easily distracted
Shawn says:
hahaha school open on sun meh?
even open also cannot go ): the level 8 soup make me feel gross
Derrick says:
lololol
you want study in toilet ah
Shawn says:
haha good idea!
Derrick says:
oh ya
enclosed
quiet
no distraction
omg perfect study location
Shawn says:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA lol la you
Derrick says:
srsly
I can move my table in
and sit for a few hours
ohya need ventilation
Shawn says:
hahahahaha smelly and wet at the same time
Derrick says:
huh
Shawn says:
your perfect kind of environment to study (:
Derrick says:
your toilet smelly and wet one meh
Shawn says:
haha no laaaaa
you make your toilet smelly and wet la
HAHA lol
Derrick says:
sian
WHAT IS THIS
SEA HISTORY
what sai use
study names like
sir andrew clark
and those "little brown friends"
Shawn says:
OMG. Who is he?!?!
Derrick says:
idk leh
just remember his name from lecture 2
(...)
I still have 4 5 6 to study :(
and I'm saturated
Shawn says:
the test is cancelled!!
Derrick says:
??
WTF?
HUH???
Shawn says:
apparently so.. haha
Derrick says:
where
how you know
Shawn says:
you ask ms kumar.. lester tell me.. he say got someone tell him
Derrick says:
lame
are you sure
later she scold lol
Shawn says:
you ask ms kumar la
haha
Derrick says:
okay
wah lame
IF CANCELLE
I DONT KNOW WHAT TO SAY?
Shawn says:
go go ask!! later it's some stupid prank. haha
Derrick says:
k
I sms her alr
lame sia
i study so much
Shawn says:
(:
hahahahahahahaha
for thurs la!
Derrick says:
oh
changed to thurs ah
Shawn says:
i think so
it's postponed
not cancelled what
haha
Derrick says:
sian
idk
WTH MAN
so much to study -.-
I memorise until I can feel my head expanding
Shawn says:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA study till your head as big as lester phua's ego
Derrick says:
lolololol
you do until where arleady
yesterday morning you already finished 3 lectures
so now I guess almost done?
LOL
IT IS REALLY CANCELLED
WTH!!!!!!!
Shawn says:
HAHAHAHAHAHA lol
Derrick says:
-.-
kns????
how lester know
when you hear the news
Shawn says:
lol... sms what.. i think i'll just study for it anyway
Derrick says:
tell them
tomorrow dont have sea quiz
Shawn says:
hmmmm.. tell who?
Derrick says:
lame la
I memorise like shit
now dont have quiz
MY BRAIN EXPLODING
feel so cheated
uh
tell those who take histor
y
Shawn says:
woahohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohoh the person telling them what
Derrick says:
who is that person
Shawn says:
don't know leh
Derrick says:
you sms a11
can alr
Shawn says:
ohk..
Derrick says:
wah srsly -.-
this sucks
wlao!!!!!
feel so cheated
all my efforts
Shawn says:
hahahaha
nvm la
Derrick says:
never mind?!??!
Shawn says:
ya!!
of course la!
---

Anyway, atlantis ended. (:
Tired now, and stomach-aching. ):












But it was fun!
Will do this anytime again!
(:

Smile and be happy!
'Cos life's too short to be sad.

(Sorry for the truncation of photos, blogger's screwing this up.)
Adios!
Shawn.

a new start to a new beginning.

Shawn Teo
17
2000 to 2001
Montfort Junior School
1F, 2HH

2003 to 2005
Nan Chiau Primary School
3G, 4C, 5A, 6A

2006 to 2009
Catholic High School
1-5, 2-5, 3-2, 4-2

2010 to 2011
Hwa Chong Institution
10A11

08-06-1993
br>

philosophy

“Whenever you're in conflict with someone, there is one factor that can make the difference between damaging your relationship and deepening it. That factor is attitude. ”

wishes

10A11 - the best in anything we do!
To make more friends and widen my social circle
To be a teacher
To cut down my weight to 70kg and below.
To get Silver for NAPFA in 2011 (Not this year!) and so much more!

♥ Links

Andy
Duo Geng
Zhi Ying
Xuan Ming
Yiren
Zhiyu
Leh Chuan
Wei Nan
Ms Chow
Chek Wei
Raymond Thien
Jun Hoe
Si Heng
Chin Wen
10A!! <3
Earnest
Yeung Kai
Tan Sally
Zi Ai
Mel Koh
Roy Goh
Wan Ling
Ning Qian
Johnervan

archives.

♥ July 2009 August 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 June 2010 July 2010 August 2010

chat.

credits.

Designer: BREN ♥ DA
Music: [♥]
Image: [♥]